Just in time for Father's Day, here's the teaser trailer. You can watch it here via YouTube or go here for a higher res version. Enjoy!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Dad - A Bittersweet Tale
It's amazing the perspective one gets talking to countless people about their relationships with their dads. What's been made abundantly clear throughout the ongoing process of making this film is how much of an impact the presence or absence of a dad has on people's lives. The unfortunate picture that keeps getting played out over and over is how many people suffer from either a neglectful or non-existent relationship with their dads. Prior to this project, I really had no clue the extent of this.
Just yesterday my family and I were in attendance at a friend's son's birthday party. We were sitting across from a six-year-old boy eating birthday cake and, without any prompting he looked at me and shared with saddened eyes how his 'dad never comes to these things.'I asked where his father was.
"Working. He's always working."
Seated across the way was just another reason-in-the-flesh about why it's so important to the fate of our society for fathers to be as involved with their kids as they can be. Maybe this kid will grow up okay. Who know? But having a dad (and mom for that matter)around would certainly improve the odds.
Finally, below is a poem that was recently submitted to us that was written by a daughter who never knew her dad at all. In the next few days leading up to Father's Day I will be emphasizing heroic dads who go above and beyond to care for their families, but sometimes the bitter needs to come before the sweet. Anyway, here is the poem....
A Gift for Dear Old Dad
Happy Father’s Day Dad, I know we’ve never met, but I’ll bet the gift I give will be the best one that you’ll get. My gift to you is SILENCE. I know it’s what you want. It’s the one thing that you need to keep your life calm and serene.
It’s a little bit expensive, but don’t worry about the cost. I’ll pay for it a little every day, when I think of you or what you had to say.
Do you remember the day that I called you on the phone? You said to me in a very nasty tone,” I am not your father, and “leave me the hell alone”. There were a few remarks about my mother that I dare not repeat. They were so hurtful; I was left unable to speak.
It took me 34 years to summon the courage to make that call, but in all of 30 seconds I felt like I’d been thrown through a wall. I went to bed, curled up in a ball.
While your wife was home pregnant with twins on the way, you were out with my mother for a night of selfish and sinful play.
I went to school with your children; you know we’re the same age. I was not allowed to tell them, and cause you any shame.
I have lived as your dirty little secret for 45 years. It has warped my self esteem; I’ve cried rivers of tears.
My mother has been dead for 41 years. She went looking for love after too many beers. Her car left the road and flipped in the air. Three children were left to the town’s peoples stares.
You will never acknowledge me. Of this I am sure. And the damage it has caused…there’s really no cure.
I saw your face for the first time today! It was in a newspaper article from far away. The paper reported that you died today. The obituary listed almost all of your kids, the name of your wife, and brief description of your life. The account said you had lived for 76 years. You would be so proud Dad, I never shed a single tear.
This closes the door to a lifelong ache. It felt like the finishing touches of the icing of your cake! Happy Father’s Day…… Your unnamed child.
Just yesterday my family and I were in attendance at a friend's son's birthday party. We were sitting across from a six-year-old boy eating birthday cake and, without any prompting he looked at me and shared with saddened eyes how his 'dad never comes to these things.'I asked where his father was.
"Working. He's always working."
Seated across the way was just another reason-in-the-flesh about why it's so important to the fate of our society for fathers to be as involved with their kids as they can be. Maybe this kid will grow up okay. Who know? But having a dad (and mom for that matter)around would certainly improve the odds.
Finally, below is a poem that was recently submitted to us that was written by a daughter who never knew her dad at all. In the next few days leading up to Father's Day I will be emphasizing heroic dads who go above and beyond to care for their families, but sometimes the bitter needs to come before the sweet. Anyway, here is the poem....
A Gift for Dear Old Dad
Happy Father’s Day Dad, I know we’ve never met, but I’ll bet the gift I give will be the best one that you’ll get. My gift to you is SILENCE. I know it’s what you want. It’s the one thing that you need to keep your life calm and serene.
It’s a little bit expensive, but don’t worry about the cost. I’ll pay for it a little every day, when I think of you or what you had to say.
Do you remember the day that I called you on the phone? You said to me in a very nasty tone,” I am not your father, and “leave me the hell alone”. There were a few remarks about my mother that I dare not repeat. They were so hurtful; I was left unable to speak.
It took me 34 years to summon the courage to make that call, but in all of 30 seconds I felt like I’d been thrown through a wall. I went to bed, curled up in a ball.
While your wife was home pregnant with twins on the way, you were out with my mother for a night of selfish and sinful play.
I went to school with your children; you know we’re the same age. I was not allowed to tell them, and cause you any shame.
I have lived as your dirty little secret for 45 years. It has warped my self esteem; I’ve cried rivers of tears.
My mother has been dead for 41 years. She went looking for love after too many beers. Her car left the road and flipped in the air. Three children were left to the town’s peoples stares.
You will never acknowledge me. Of this I am sure. And the damage it has caused…there’s really no cure.
I saw your face for the first time today! It was in a newspaper article from far away. The paper reported that you died today. The obituary listed almost all of your kids, the name of your wife, and brief description of your life. The account said you had lived for 76 years. You would be so proud Dad, I never shed a single tear.
This closes the door to a lifelong ache. It felt like the finishing touches of the icing of your cake! Happy Father’s Day…… Your unnamed child.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
NC Dad Summit This Saturday
Just got a note about Greg Barbara, a SAHD/punk rocker, who is putting up a 'Dad Summit' at his home in Durham, NC. Here's what they'll be doing:
3pm-5pm: meet, greet and eat
5pm-7p: discuss topics such as
a.) dealing with isolation and depression
b.) blogging for money
c.) financial management and the need to spend
d.) life with a special needs child
e.) dads and daughters
7pm to whenever - solve the world's problems
Personally, I'm looking forward to hearing what comes of the 7pm agenda. The world could certainly use it. Check out Greg's website here. And if you want more info about the summit, you can contact Greg directly at gregeboy@nc.rr.com.
3pm-5pm: meet, greet and eat
5pm-7p: discuss topics such as
a.) dealing with isolation and depression
b.) blogging for money
c.) financial management and the need to spend
d.) life with a special needs child
e.) dads and daughters
7pm to whenever - solve the world's problems
Personally, I'm looking forward to hearing what comes of the 7pm agenda. The world could certainly use it. Check out Greg's website here. And if you want more info about the summit, you can contact Greg directly at gregeboy@nc.rr.com.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Goodbye To May
It's funny. Usually May is what I would consider the best month of the year. The weather is terrific and people are outside more. Love is in the air. School is either ending or at least giving way to a summer break. I usually look back at May near the end of the summer and think to myself, "Was May a blur or what?"
Not so with this year.
This year, for many reasons, May felt more like February or March. Weather-wise it seemed like instead of March, April, May, we had March, March, March. There was also some sort of nasty virus floating around the NYC area that my family and I all caught. The end of the month concluded with the death of the mother of one of my dearest friends. She was only 65 years young - a woman who was so vibrant, such a life force, that the notion she is no longer around is deeply troubling. It's made me reflect on how fleeting life truly is and how quickly things can go wrong.
And then there was this morning. I got the boys out of the house to the new playground that's across the street. The sunlight was bursting through the overhanging leaves. The air was that perfect temperature that's neither hot nor cold. My boys were in high spirits as they climbed the jungle gym. Jamie, my eighteen-month-old, flew down the steep slide without a bit of fear. Later on today, an old friend who I've lost contact with, sent me an email. Things are on the up.
I know this doesn't all directly relate to the film but it's where things are at for me. Thanks for reading.
Not so with this year.
This year, for many reasons, May felt more like February or March. Weather-wise it seemed like instead of March, April, May, we had March, March, March. There was also some sort of nasty virus floating around the NYC area that my family and I all caught. The end of the month concluded with the death of the mother of one of my dearest friends. She was only 65 years young - a woman who was so vibrant, such a life force, that the notion she is no longer around is deeply troubling. It's made me reflect on how fleeting life truly is and how quickly things can go wrong.
And then there was this morning. I got the boys out of the house to the new playground that's across the street. The sunlight was bursting through the overhanging leaves. The air was that perfect temperature that's neither hot nor cold. My boys were in high spirits as they climbed the jungle gym. Jamie, my eighteen-month-old, flew down the steep slide without a bit of fear. Later on today, an old friend who I've lost contact with, sent me an email. Things are on the up.
I know this doesn't all directly relate to the film but it's where things are at for me. Thanks for reading.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Wanted: Children's Stories With Dads as Central Characters
After reading a recent blog from Daddy Dialectic about most loved children's stories, I am inspired to look into this subject in a deeper way as to how it relates to the depiction of dads. I feel that, just like the way our mass media treats dads, the stories that we read to our kids have an equally strong impact. Certainly, there's nothing wrong with great classic children's stories that are mom-centric. Some of my boys' and my favorites are focused around great moms (The Runaway Bunny, anyone?)
However, there just aren't that many good children's books out there that emphasize the role of dad. After considering the dozens of books I've read to my boys (and we do so religiously every morning) I can only think of a scant few that have strong fatherhood figures in them.
The most impressive children's lit depiction of an 'evolved' dad to date is Mo Willems' "Knuffle Bunny" books. Without making a big deal about the father in these two books, Willems paints a really great picture of an involved dad who shares the care of his daughter with his wife. The book doesn't spell out whether he's an at-home dad or not (and not that it necessarily should, either! However, do observe what he's wearing when he takes his daughter to school.) What's great about the books is that the way the father is depicted is so matter of fact. That's really the bottom line about being an involved father for me. It's not like we should be standing out as being exceptional or different, but rather, it's our job as a parent and it's normal.
The second series of books that comes to my mind are the 'Little Bear' books by Martin Waddell and Barbara Firth. These books were written in the early Nineties and are terrific for the love and care they exude between the father and son bear.
And then my mind seems to go somewhat blank on what other really good father-centric children's books are out there. I'd be interested in compiling a list of dad-related books as a resource for the Evo Dad site and would love to know what other books are out there. So, if you have some that come to your mind, please write in and share. It'd great to learn other titles and, frankly, I'd love to read them to my kids. Many thanks in advance.
However, there just aren't that many good children's books out there that emphasize the role of dad. After considering the dozens of books I've read to my boys (and we do so religiously every morning) I can only think of a scant few that have strong fatherhood figures in them.
The most impressive children's lit depiction of an 'evolved' dad to date is Mo Willems' "Knuffle Bunny" books. Without making a big deal about the father in these two books, Willems paints a really great picture of an involved dad who shares the care of his daughter with his wife. The book doesn't spell out whether he's an at-home dad or not (and not that it necessarily should, either! However, do observe what he's wearing when he takes his daughter to school.) What's great about the books is that the way the father is depicted is so matter of fact. That's really the bottom line about being an involved father for me. It's not like we should be standing out as being exceptional or different, but rather, it's our job as a parent and it's normal.
The second series of books that comes to my mind are the 'Little Bear' books by Martin Waddell and Barbara Firth. These books were written in the early Nineties and are terrific for the love and care they exude between the father and son bear.
And then my mind seems to go somewhat blank on what other really good father-centric children's books are out there. I'd be interested in compiling a list of dad-related books as a resource for the Evo Dad site and would love to know what other books are out there. So, if you have some that come to your mind, please write in and share. It'd great to learn other titles and, frankly, I'd love to read them to my kids. Many thanks in advance.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
A Nod Back To Daddy Dialectic
Please check out Jeremy Smith's writing about the impact of moms on dads in his Daddy Dialectic blog. Very thoughtful and I'm flattered he would quote this blog at the start of it. Thanks, Jeremy, for digging deep.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Introducing Sergeant Brian Booker
Hey there!
It's been a tumultuous last few weeks. Between filming the National Fatherhood Initiative's Fatherhood Awards Gala in DC, prepping for this Father's Day, family and work commitments and then getting sick for about a week, I'm starting to come up for air.
Perhaps the most exciting thing to report is the discovery of an amazing new subject for the film. Sergeant Brian Booker, a step-dad for two kids, was given a fatherhood award at the NFI's event and we had the opportunity to interview him there. It was truly one of the most engaging interviews we've had. Sergeant Booker is incredibly candid and thoughtful and for nearly an hour we were transfixed. I will be posting a clip from this interview but in the meantime, feel free to read the letter Sergeant Booker's wife, Amy, submitted, which won him the award. It's incredibly touching. Enjoy!
********************************************************************************
I am writing in regards to the nomination of fathers for the 2008 NFI Lockheed Martin Military Fatherhood Award. I would like to nominate my husband, SSG Brian S. Booker of the 155th BSTB for the Mississippi Army National Guard. Let me take this opportunity to tell a little bit of our story. Brian received his mobilization orders in Fall of 2004 to serve a year long tour in Kuwait with the 184th CME. Never having been deployed before, we tried to prepare not only ourselves but mainly our children, Tyler (age 5 at the time) and Whitney (age 8 at the time) for what lied ahead. Brian hung maps of the world in their room showing where he would be, told them not to forget the values and morals they had been taught, introduced them to other deploying soldier’s children, told our son no matter how young he was to be the man of the house and take care of his sister and mother.
During his deployment, a lot changed for our family. The children and I found a house in my husband’s hometown that we loved. This meant we not only got to start over, have our own adventure, but also be closer to our military family, the people who knew our soldier and what we were going through more than anyone else. Brian always went above and beyond to help the Family Readiness Group complete whatever project we had at hand, one of the most memorable being voice recorded messages from the soldiers to the children in their own stuffed animals.
I have never seen such genuine love and emotion come from young children as I did the day they pushed that button and heard their fathers and loved ones talk to them from so many miles away, the tears were so meaningful. Brian always kept in touch with our children, sending cards, emails, checking on their grades, and reminding them how much they are loved and missed. He surprised our children coming home for his two week R&R, they were so elated to look up and see their dad walking towards them in the airport. It was such a nice change from days before as we had been hit with Hurricane Katrina. He did everything he could to take their minds off of what was going on, taking them on their first horseback rides, not letting go when they were scared, fishing, and playing sports. He spent one on one time with each of them reconnecting and letting them know that even though he had to go back to Kuwait he couldn’t wait to be home with them again for good.
Since arriving home from deployment in December 2005, Brian has continuously amazed me as a father. I had been dealing with our sons learning difficulties on my own during the deployment and seemed to get no help no matter where I turned. Brian not only met with teachers, principles, superintendents, but also contacted state officials in order to get the help that was needed not only for our son, but for other children who were obviously having the same difficulties. He is at school anytime he is needed, offering to do whatever he can as a parent to better the school spirit and curriculum, and helps with any extra-curricular activities the children have. He sets an example like no other for all the children around him. He offers information to any family, child, or fellow soldier in any area they may need help in. If he does not know the answer to their problem, he will let nothing stand in his way of finding resources to get the answer needed.
My children have such an amazing role model in their dad, they see him as invincible yet with humbleness. He is a loyal soldier when duty calls, and a father every minute of the day. You see, there is something I haven’t mentioned yet about our story and what truly makes me nominate Brian for this award. Most fathers would be nominated for being a great coach in the delivery room, or changing the most diapers. My husband was not there for that. My children lost their birth father to suicide in May 2004, just months before Brian deployed. It was the most devastating thing we have ever experienced. Brian was what got us through. He did not let the children miss a beat. He picked them up from the pain, wrapped his arms around them, and promised to love them and never let them go or feel that pain ever again. He showed them that life could be good again. He took on children that he never rocked as babies, fed a bottle to, watch take their first step. Yet, he is right beside them fighting for their every need, guiding them through the stages they are in, and helping to mold them into admirable and inspiring people. He loves them as though he were there from their first day. He is not a father that merely tells his children things. Brian shows them, he teaches them so that they can teach others in return. He has turned our life around, given our children reasons to smile again. They have such pride for him and the country that we serve as a family.
Brian is a father like no other, he is our soldier, and hero. I hope you too can see what I see in him as a father. We are so lucky to have him and know that he deserves an award like this for what he has done for our children.
Thank you,
Amy Booker, proud wife of SSB Brian S. Booker
It's been a tumultuous last few weeks. Between filming the National Fatherhood Initiative's Fatherhood Awards Gala in DC, prepping for this Father's Day, family and work commitments and then getting sick for about a week, I'm starting to come up for air.
Perhaps the most exciting thing to report is the discovery of an amazing new subject for the film. Sergeant Brian Booker, a step-dad for two kids, was given a fatherhood award at the NFI's event and we had the opportunity to interview him there. It was truly one of the most engaging interviews we've had. Sergeant Booker is incredibly candid and thoughtful and for nearly an hour we were transfixed. I will be posting a clip from this interview but in the meantime, feel free to read the letter Sergeant Booker's wife, Amy, submitted, which won him the award. It's incredibly touching. Enjoy!
********************************************************************************
I am writing in regards to the nomination of fathers for the 2008 NFI Lockheed Martin Military Fatherhood Award. I would like to nominate my husband, SSG Brian S. Booker of the 155th BSTB for the Mississippi Army National Guard. Let me take this opportunity to tell a little bit of our story. Brian received his mobilization orders in Fall of 2004 to serve a year long tour in Kuwait with the 184th CME. Never having been deployed before, we tried to prepare not only ourselves but mainly our children, Tyler (age 5 at the time) and Whitney (age 8 at the time) for what lied ahead. Brian hung maps of the world in their room showing where he would be, told them not to forget the values and morals they had been taught, introduced them to other deploying soldier’s children, told our son no matter how young he was to be the man of the house and take care of his sister and mother.
During his deployment, a lot changed for our family. The children and I found a house in my husband’s hometown that we loved. This meant we not only got to start over, have our own adventure, but also be closer to our military family, the people who knew our soldier and what we were going through more than anyone else. Brian always went above and beyond to help the Family Readiness Group complete whatever project we had at hand, one of the most memorable being voice recorded messages from the soldiers to the children in their own stuffed animals.
I have never seen such genuine love and emotion come from young children as I did the day they pushed that button and heard their fathers and loved ones talk to them from so many miles away, the tears were so meaningful. Brian always kept in touch with our children, sending cards, emails, checking on their grades, and reminding them how much they are loved and missed. He surprised our children coming home for his two week R&R, they were so elated to look up and see their dad walking towards them in the airport. It was such a nice change from days before as we had been hit with Hurricane Katrina. He did everything he could to take their minds off of what was going on, taking them on their first horseback rides, not letting go when they were scared, fishing, and playing sports. He spent one on one time with each of them reconnecting and letting them know that even though he had to go back to Kuwait he couldn’t wait to be home with them again for good.
Since arriving home from deployment in December 2005, Brian has continuously amazed me as a father. I had been dealing with our sons learning difficulties on my own during the deployment and seemed to get no help no matter where I turned. Brian not only met with teachers, principles, superintendents, but also contacted state officials in order to get the help that was needed not only for our son, but for other children who were obviously having the same difficulties. He is at school anytime he is needed, offering to do whatever he can as a parent to better the school spirit and curriculum, and helps with any extra-curricular activities the children have. He sets an example like no other for all the children around him. He offers information to any family, child, or fellow soldier in any area they may need help in. If he does not know the answer to their problem, he will let nothing stand in his way of finding resources to get the answer needed.
My children have such an amazing role model in their dad, they see him as invincible yet with humbleness. He is a loyal soldier when duty calls, and a father every minute of the day. You see, there is something I haven’t mentioned yet about our story and what truly makes me nominate Brian for this award. Most fathers would be nominated for being a great coach in the delivery room, or changing the most diapers. My husband was not there for that. My children lost their birth father to suicide in May 2004, just months before Brian deployed. It was the most devastating thing we have ever experienced. Brian was what got us through. He did not let the children miss a beat. He picked them up from the pain, wrapped his arms around them, and promised to love them and never let them go or feel that pain ever again. He showed them that life could be good again. He took on children that he never rocked as babies, fed a bottle to, watch take their first step. Yet, he is right beside them fighting for their every need, guiding them through the stages they are in, and helping to mold them into admirable and inspiring people. He loves them as though he were there from their first day. He is not a father that merely tells his children things. Brian shows them, he teaches them so that they can teach others in return. He has turned our life around, given our children reasons to smile again. They have such pride for him and the country that we serve as a family.
Brian is a father like no other, he is our soldier, and hero. I hope you too can see what I see in him as a father. We are so lucky to have him and know that he deserves an award like this for what he has done for our children.
Thank you,
Amy Booker, proud wife of SSB Brian S. Booker
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